Clean glasses, cold drinks, you’re sorted

22nd October 2015

There are 2 big problems with parties, events, a-bit-of-a-dos and the like:  a) will anyone turn up (childhood insecurities take a long time to fade) and b) barbarians at the gate.

BATG are most likely if you’re Robbie Williams at the Milton Keynes superbowl, or you’re under 17 and have put your birthday bash on Facebook while anyone over voting age is out for a nanosecond.  Robbie Williams can look after himself, or pay endless number of ultra-minders to do it, and anyway, it’s good PR – hey, if you’re the great ex-TakeThat-er, millions pushing and shoving to pay £90 to get to stand 2 miles away watching you on a big screen is what it’s all about, what you’ve dreamed and schemed about.  Unlike the unwary parent who popped out to watch Strictly with Joan-down-the-road and comes back to find 300 hundred rampaging teenagers fighting over the bath and the beds, 40 litres of vomit on the new rug and a traumatised dog huddling into its basket being cooed over by Miley Cyrus lookalikes. 

At the other end of the spectrum is the horror of an empty room, feeling the size of an aircraft hanger with a toy plane in it.  No-one came.  Or, worse by a small head, a very few people came and realised no-one else came.  And told all their friends, colleagues, contacts, clients, followers and family.  Beautiful food, ice cold champagne, mini bites of exquisite culinary skill all wasted and wilting……wait, no…..that’s what went wrong.  It was the lukewarm chardonnay and semifreddo vol-au-vents served last time that scuppered the guest list.  Only your very  best friends might turn out for skanky ‘hospitality’.

You don’t have to go for the full red carpet entrance but the basics aren’t hard to fix – shiny glassware (send it back dirty), enough plates, cold drinks.  Live and learn, live and learn.